Dear Beautiful

So it’s Christmas Day (or more like night).  I hope all of you who celebrate have had a blessed and beautiful day.  First off, I’ve decided to participate in The Daily Post’s Weekly Writing Challenge, which is to post each day for one week.  What perfect timing for me, seeing as I’m off for the week.  Plus, as the end of the year approaches, I feel like I have a tons I want to write about.

For today, I wanted to share a letter one of my best friends wrote at one point in her recovery.  The holidays can be a difficult time for everyone, but this is especially true for those of us in recovery from an eating disorder.  It’s easy to put recovery on the back-burner, promising ourselves we will pick it back up in the New Year.  I have often turned to this letter when I am having one of those, “That’s it, I give up, recovery be damned!” moments.  By sharing this, I hope to help anyone out there who may be struggling today, this week, or anytime in the future.  This is beautiful piece, written from the heart, by an amazing woman who means so much to me and inspires me every day.

Dear Beautiful

Dear Beautiful,
You are not alone. You are worth more than any tens of thousands of words could ever, ever convey. Everybody makes mistakes. Forgive yourself. Everybody has days where their words come out wrong. Say “I’m sorry.” and move on.  Don’t lose your hope so easily, because, you know, every cloud has a nice silver lining. Look for the little things that make you smile. What makes you smile? You’ve been sad for too long now; you’ve heard that the sun will come out tomorrow for years and years, I know, and you’re here wondering where your sun is,  and when your tomorrow will come, because again and again you’ve been living the same day on repeat in and out, in and out.
Tomorrow is today, Beautiful. Your tomorrow is today. Leave your past in the past. Those words that you said yesterday, last week, last month, last year, five years ago–you cannot take them back, you can only make the choice to let them go, let yourself go–stop holding yourself captive. Live. So, you didn’t eat your lunch today, just breathe. It happens. We all fall down. Do the next right thing. Be honest. Talk about it, cry about it, use your voice.  When you are down on the ground and someone offers you a hand for a hand, take it.  Don’t fight it. Never, ever turn it away, because, you are beautiful, and you can. You can, you can, you CAN. You can write, sing, dance, laugh, love, listen, paint, draw, make music. You CAN do anything and  everything you’ve ever wanted to do so long as you learn to let go of the hate, the hurt, the anger, the loss, the fear, LET GO, and learn to live free.
Baby steps. I never promised that this would be easy. It takes time and patience and practice, one step forward and two steps back. It is okay. Everything will be okay if you believe  in yourself and what you started fighting for. Your family, your friends, your love, the game, the stage. What did you start fighting for? Are you doing your recovery for you? Do it for you, because, Beautiful, you are beautiful, and you are loved. You are worth more than any tens of thousands of words could ever convey.
Look back only to see how far you’ve come. Be brave. Don’t hold back.  When faced with a difficult decision, search for your rational voice. It’s there. Be very still, and just listen. When you feel lost, pick up the phone. Don’t hesitate. Someone always wants to listen. Don’t ever apologize for being redundant and ask for what you need. When someone, anyone tells you that they believe in you, that you are more than your pain and struggles, ask them to repeat themselves, because, Beautiful, I know that sometimes those things are hard for you to hear. Believe them, though. Believe them.
Don’t lose sight of your dreams, keep calm and carry on. Breathe in, breathe out.
Someday, this will all have been worth it.
I will wait for you,
Your Recovery

I hope you enjoy this holiday gift from me (and my friend) to you.  May to be a ray of hope when darkness sets in.  And stay tuned for my own personal “Dear Beautiful” letter – coming soon!


(Image Credit: runtowardsyourfear)

If you were to write your own “Dear Beautiful” letter, what would it say?

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